My friend Tony picked me up on Friday afternoon to head to the next race, just as he did two weeks prior.  I joked, “same time, same place, same truck” as we headed up I-35.  We were on our way to Lawrence, KS for the Sanders’ Saunter 50k charity trail race.  Same radio station too, “80’s on 8”.  The race charity partner for 2021 was ICT SOS, which was the reason I signed up to do this race.  I ran 100k just two weeks prior (Ottawa Rails to Trails) and a marathon four weeks prior (Prairie Fire).  13 days was not enough recovery time, but I wanted to support this great cause.  Plus, I saw a crazy challenge:  26.2 miles, 62 miles and 31 miles over a 28-day span.

There was a somber moment the night before the race when Tony took me to a memorial for Col. Chris Wilson. Chris was a local runner who tragically passed away 3 years ago on the same trail. Tony has been carrying the American Flag while running the entire 50k course as a tribute to Chris over the past few years.

I carb-loaded with some burnt end mac and cheese at Biggs BBG before heading to bed early.  The weather on race morning couldn’t have been better.  It was 48 degrees before sunrise and the temperature stayed in the mid-50s most of the race.  There was also very little wind, a rarity for Kansas.  I felt pretty good the morning of the race, knowing I was not at 100%.  I felt my nutrition and hydration were on point.  The course was covered by the fall leaves making it difficult to see tree roots, rocks and other obstructions.

The first four miles were in the dark before the sun would come up.  I was moving at a decent pace and felt confident about my ability to finish under 7 hours.  And then crash!  I tripped on a tree root at mile 9 and fell to the ground.  I was slow to get up, but I was running again.  I felt a little banged up, but no big deal until mile 11 when I fell a second time.  It took longer to get up and I had to walk it off for a half mile.  I was sore in multiple places including my ankle, knee, back and hips.  I kept going, but it was around this time that I began to feel pain in my feet.  This was the same pain I feel towards the end of a long run, but I was only 11 miles in.  My feet felt like I had already run 25 miles.  It became apparent those dogs had not fully recovered from my long race a few weeks ago.   I fell again at mile 13 and now I was really hurting.  Other runners saw me fall this time and of course, made sure I was alright.  I got up and kept running but considered dropping out at the 15.5-mile mark.  In my mind, there would be no shame in only completing a 25k.  I knew the back half was going to take a long time and would be 15.5 miles of pain.  If I dropped, it would be my first “did not finish” (or as the cool kids call it, “DNF”), but I think most people would understand. 

I talked myself out of that idea quickly and decided to slow my pace down and complete the race.  Ultra-running legend Courtney Dauwalter has coined the self-descriptive term “pain cave”.  It’s the part of the Ultra-marathon where mental strength pulls you through the pain of the race.  I was entering the “pain cave” much earlier than normal.  It was time to toughen up and get in the zone.

Miles 15-22 was slower, but I was able to maintain a steady pace and avoid walking.  Several people began passing me.  It all began to fall apart at mile 22 when I was unable to run downhill.  I usually make up time when running downhill, but I was moving downhill slower than I was uphill.  I kept pushing along for 9 more slow miles, but I never stopped moving.  While I didn’t fall again, more runners continued to pass me.  A few of them even checked on me, so I must have looked like I was in rough shape. 

I would finally finish the race, dead last.  They handed me the annual award) for being the last place finisher.  It was a nice, hand designed mug called the “Last Mule in the Barn”.  The course humbled me and I wasn’t ready for it.  But it was ok, I wasn’t 100% and still got out there to complete 119.2 miles over 3 races in 28 days.  I’ve never finished last place; but I’m ok with it because I didn’t quit.  And I know how to prepare the next time I run this course. 

I was excited to bring the mug home and show my daughter.  I’ve been trying to teach her how to fail and get back up.  With excitement, I told her, “I took last place today!”  I want her to understand it’s okay to lose when you give full effort.  And most important, I am going back to this course next year and will finish in the top 50%.  She’ll see this too.

There is still time to donate to Tony Brown’s Running for a Cause Campaign. He is running 5,000 miles to raise $10,000 for ICT SOS. ICT SOS is fighting human trafficking in Kansas. Please consider making a donation by clicking this link: https://www.classy.org/campaign/5000-mile-challenge/c328229

Go get it.