I’m so thankful for 2019.  It has had its fair share of challenges and tough times, but I’ve learned to find joy through perseverance this year.  I was at one of my lowest points in life last December, but since then I have been motivated to move forward.  The injuries sustained because of a drunk driver had me in a funk for all of 2018.  I had to rely on patience and hard work to mitigate the physical pain, but I let the emotional pain get the best of me.

Maybe I carried some baggage into 2018, making the injury worse.  You see, I would have told you that 2016 was the toughest year of my life in December 2016.  I would have told you that 2017 was the toughest year of my life in December 2017.  I lost several friends way too young in 2017.  One of those was my dear friend Kyle, who was only 26.  Kyle and I had a big brother/little brother relationship for many years.  I’ve lost other friends prior to Kyle, but his loss felt like family.  Like losing a little brother.  I felt life punching and kicking me harder than ever throughout those two years.

I was ready to turn things around in 2018 when the sun set on 2017.  I was feeling low then after two exhausting years, but I was trying to find a way to push through.  .  Most of my 506-day workout streak was achieved in 2017, providing both mental and emotional relief.   I find myself utilizing workout time for thoughts, ideas, prayer and meditation while increasing fitness levels.  I was in the best shape of my life by the end of 2017 with big goals for 2018.  Midnight striking would activate a reset button to move forward into the next year.  Bam!  January 3.  All gone.  Car wreck.  Drunk driver.  7 discs in my back/neck shoved out of their intended location + spinal stenosis.  Yikes. 

December 2018 was my lowest place.  I wrote about it in blog post one and blog post two and filled in some gaps later down the road.  I was letting my become a sad, country song.  I was letting this accident define me.

It won’t define me.   My spirit and determination will define me.  I’ve put more effort into rebuilding this back through fitness than anything I have ever done.  The biggest difference in my motivation since last December?  I have learned when things are not going the way I intended to channel that spirit and determination while moving forward.  I’ve learned that I may need to find new routes while moving forward in life’s journey.  God doesn’t want us sitting around not doing anything and feeling sorry for ourselves when going through tough times.  I already knew that, but I didn’t always believe or live that way.  I know that when I remove self-imposed barriers that I can dedicate myself any amount of work to accomplish my goals.  The biggest barriers in my life have always been created by me.  As my body has healed, I’ve realized that I need to apply this same drive in other areas.  I need to run full speed through destinations where I’ve strung up “caution” tape or “do not enter” signs. 

Maybe I needed that car wreck find that spirit and determination.  It was always there, but it was underutilized.  I made excuses and put up my own barriers preventing me from achieving everything I was capable in life but those days are gone.  If I can come back from extreme, daily pain from my injuries through my God-given ability to work hard, then why not chase dreams and goals that I placed on the backburner years ago?  “Despite” is the most powerful word in my vocabulary.  Despite excuses that I’ve told myself, I’m focused on accomplishing what I once saw as “impossible”.  God has given me the ability to reach those goals but I’ve I talked myself out of either starting or give up to quickly.   

I have a passion for helping others lose weight and find fitness.  I have a passion for helping others manage their pain while avoiding pain pills.  I have dreams and goals that I’ve taken off the shelf. 

I keep telling myself, “if there is something you want in 2020 that you didn’t have in 2019, then you must be willing to do things in 2020 that you’ve never done before.”

This will be my 2020.

Go get it.