I was really focused on what I couldn’t do during the first year of my injury.  For the longest time, my injuries sustained by that drunk driver impacted EVERY part of my life.  Dealing with the physical pain was difficult, but not being able to do normal things that I could prior to the wreck took a significant mental toll on me and my family.

Every day it was something.  I couldn’t go on a bike ride with my family, couldn’t ski when in Colorado over Spring Break 2018, couldn’t move anything more than 10-15 pounds, couldn’t climb a ladder, couldn’t do many household chores, couldn’t sit for more than 30 minutes at a time, couldn’t go to the gym, couldn’t lift weights, and couldn’t race.  I’ll leave it at that, otherwise this will be a 50 page sob story.

The mental impact translated to my overall mood and temperament.  As a male, you feel a bit emasculated when you can’t do the “man jobs” around the house.  You also get tired of asking for help from other people while feeling lazy as you watch.  You fight all day to stay engaged while in a conference room for a week of meetings, trying not to focus on the pain.  It’s brutal.  You don’t stop thinking about it and you always question when it will end.  When you don’t get better, it only amplifies the frustration.

This constant frustration will consume you if you let it.  I had to shake it off.  There were two things that I did that helped me:

First off, I had to focus on what I could do and be thankful.  Instead of thinking about how I couldn’t run as fast or as long; I could still run.  Even my wrecked body could still run faster than any non-regular runner.  I wasn’t stuck in a bed, paralyzed, or dead; and needed to be more thankful that my situation was not as bad as it could have been.  Although I couldn’t ski last year, I was still capable of scuba diving.  I needed to remind myself that this wreck didn’t take everything from me.  As time moved along, I regained some capabilities that I lost due to the car wreck.  I celebrated those small victories.  I made a big deal out of them while remaining thankful.  This drove my motivation.

The second thing I did was try new things that I was capable of doing.  I started swimming laps at the YMCA.  Prior to the accident, I could only swim 200 yards without stopping.  I can do 1250 yards today which is equal to .72 miles.  I’ll hit a mile before the end of the year.  I also stepped up my DDP Yoga game.  Sure, I had dabbled in it and even completed 4-5 sessions a week for a few periods of time.  I’ve had a 30 day streak since then and I’m on a 37 out of 43 day run right now.  Not only have I done more DDP Yoga, but I am better at it.  Check out the picture below.

This movement is called Black Crow.  I worked on the move for a few months back in 2016 but couldn’t do it.  It was part of Sunday’s DDP Yoga workout so I tried it for the first time in years.  I was instantly able to do it and hold for over 10 seconds.  I was blown away and very satisfied.  I do it every day now, mainly just because I can.  I can do 50 sit-ups or squats without any type of break or pause.  Maybe I’ll try 100 tomorrow.  Who knows?

There are still things I can’t do.  I still can’t use the rower at Orangetheory fitness for more than a few minutes.  It sucks.  I have a love/hate relationship with rowing and never thought I’d miss rowing.  I jump on the strider during the rowing portion of the OTF workout which makes my hips stronger and burns the same amount of calories.  I still can’t ride a bicycle without a lot of pain but I can’t spend time thinking about that.  I’ve never participated in a triathlon, but I will some day after I can ride a bike close to pain free.  Instead of thinking about not being able to ride a bike; my mind is on becoming a stronger swimmer and runner.  I see this as a great head start to my eventual triathlon training.  I can mow the yard again.  I actually didn’t miss that capability but I am sure my wife has enjoyed not mowing the past few weeks.  She’s been a saint through all this. 

There are still several styles of crunches that I can’t do, but my rep count is at an all-time high when working pain-free crunches.  I’ve climbed a few ladders recently and will clean out the gutters in a few weeks.  My wife will like that as well.  All of these things have made me a happier person.  My attitude is so much better than it was a year ago.  I know that I am stronger each day.  I know that I am closer to being 100% pain free yet I am in the best physical conditioning of my entire life.  That Black Crow though….

It all comes down to thankfulness and hard work.  Those are two things that I can control…and those two things are helping me recover and become stronger

Work hard play hard,

Black Crow Beast