Letting Go – An Updated Victim Statement

“Your honor, I’d like to introduce exhibit #53, statement from one of the victims of this accident.”  For some reason, I thought that would be a term that I’d hear in the court last July.  I was asked by the court to prepare victim’s statement in June for consideration to sentence the drunk driver who hit me in January.  I hope you never get hit by a drunk driver.  But, if you do, you’ll have to prepare one of these.  I hope that the judge who presides over the case will thoroughly read your victim’s statement.  The judge presiding over the case that impacted me did not, according to his own words in the courtroom.  I’ll tell that story some other time, today I want to write an updated victim statement.  I posted the original victim statement in my last blog entry.

I fully intend to print this out and mail it to the judge who presided over the case.  I will also send it to the prosecutor and my contact at the court.  Although I am bitter that this was not utilized in the sentencing of the driver, I am writing it from today’s point of view.  You see, I had hope of a full recovery when I wrote the statement.  My chiropractor initially believed that a 3-4 month recovery plan would get me close to 100%.  The permanent injury diagnosis would not smack me in the face for almost a full year after preparing the statement.  So much has changed since that time.  This statement has not impact on case at this point, that shipped sailed away almost as a year ago as well.  This statement is more for me as a release, to perhaps let a few things go so I can move on. 

Maybe the judge reads this and takes pause the next time he hands down a sentencing.  We all make mistakes and this judge failed badly in my opinion.  I am not here to question his judgement; but I am critical of his lack of preparation in making that judgement.  It’s my opinion that he overlooked evidence when making his decision.  Did he really understand that I was hurt?  How many cases did he see that day?  Was this normal behavior for him or was the court just running behind and needing to focus on repeat offenders?  Who knows.  I’m moving forward, this past doesn’t define me and has only made me stronger.

Victim Statement Addendum (6/16/2019)

Completed by:  Matthew Magnuson

Case No.:  18DUI3

Updates on injury status and rehabilitation:

·         I’ve gone 529 straight days with pain each morning when I try to get out of bed. 

·         I recently had an MRI conducted that showed no improvement.

·         My injures are permanent.  I now have a lifetime of pain and doctor’s appointments.

·         I do not have excruciating pain; however, the pain continues.  My pain comes in two forms: 

·         Constant pain that never goes 100% away

·         Pain that will occur if my backed becomes aggravated through lifting, some body motions (twisting, long reaches, climbing ladders, etc) or constant sitting. 

·         My fitness life has been severely minimized and I am not able to do many day-to-day chores around the house and yard.

·         I added physical therapy appointments that include dry needling to my treatment plan.  I started with weekly appointments in July through November.  I’ve had bi-weekly appointments since then.

·         My physical therapist has given me a few dozen PT movements to work on at home.  This is now a daily part of my life.

·         I’ve had exactly 100 doctor’s appointments since the last letter.  This brings the total to 148.  It will be 150 by next week.

·         I never used pain pills.  I am opioid free.  I have spent thousands out of pocket to receive cryotherapy.  Cryotherapy helps with pain management more than any other treatment I’ve had.  In fact, I’ve had 124 cryotherapy sessions.

·         I’ve been injected with a total of 3 epidural shots that included cortisone and steroids.  I hoped that this would be the solution to take me to near-100% improvement.  They provided only temporary improvement.  These procedures were very costly and required me to take time off work and slow down for several days.  The few days of relief were not worth the pain and hassle but were necessary in hopes of a recovery.

·         My neck is better but less than 100%.  It no longer causes daily pain, but it becomes aggravated easily.  It showed significant improvement after 10 months.

·         I’ve accumulated almost $50,000 worth of medical expenses since the time of the accident. 

Impact to my family:

·         My family has sacrificed time with me because of time spent rehabbing or at doctor’s appointments.

·         I have not carried my daughter to bed when she falls asleep on the couch or in the car one time since the accident.  She’ll be 8 years old in a few days and as she grows, I realize that I may have already carried her to bed for the last time ever.  Complete B@#&*@# that no father should have to go through.

·         I taught my daughter how to ride a bike, yet I was unable ride a bike for a family bike ride.  Precious moments stolen.

·         Speaking of moments stolen, there is at least one moment a week where my response to my daughter is we/I “can’t because of Daddy’s back”.

·         Extra burden has been placed on my wife because she handles many tasks and chores that I am no longer able to do.

·         This extends to friends and family who are always lending me a hand when I would much rather handle things myself.

·         My family has seen me go to some dark places, mentally.  

·         My daughter prays almost every night for “Jesus to help the doctors find a way to fix daddy’s back”.

Impact to my friendships:

·         I’m having difficulty maintaining conversations with friends.  There is something related to my back constantly on my mind, yet I can’t just complain about my back the whole time.  I run out of things to talk about when all I can think about is how my back hurts.  No one really understands that, and I don’t know how to explain it.

·         I’ve lost track of how many invitations I’ve declined in the past year due to not being physically up for it or lack of time because of my added rehabilitation obligations.

Impact to my work-life:

·         Work travel has been a disaster.  Airline flights are easier today, after enduring several with a much higher pain level.  Not only did time on the flight aggravate my back, but the various hotel beds caused discomfort.   

·         Longer trips have caused severe exhaustion due to the extra pain.  Th exhaustion has impacted my ability to be fully engaged after a few days of work travel.  

·         Sitting during long meetings has the same effect as a physical strain from lifting something awkwardly or overexerting myself.

·         There are days that I am fighting just as hard to mentally focus as I am to physically improve. 

Item’s that I have purchased, out of pocket

·         Massagers and Dr Ho attachment for my office chair

·         Sleep Number bed

·         Every infomercial brace including Copper Fit

·         Standing desk for the house

·         Jacuzzi Hot tub with therapy jets

·         Athletic gear/equipment for rehabbing (everything from foam rollers to a hyper flex and everything in between)

·         Every pain/inflammation cream I can find

Impact to my mental State

I’ve visited some very dark places.  I was consumed with darkness and terror from the damages physically inflicted on me by the defendant.  I’m past those dark places.  I dug myself out and I’m really focused on moving on.  I am on a fitness and rehabilitation journey of my own now.  I am rebuilding my body through yoga, rehab work, stretching, swimming and any other workouts that I am physically able to do.  My back was ruined by the defendant.  My life will not be ruined.  I am in the process of strengthening every other part of my body.  I’m motivated and unstoppable.

I hope that the judge, prosecutor, defendant and counsel all read this addendum thoroughly.  This includes the judge, who had not read the first one prior to sentencing the defendant, according to his own words in court.

Matt Magnuson

a/k/a Injured Beast