It starts with looking in the mirror, taking a deep breath and acknowledging that you have some weight to lose.  Be brutally honest.  I had to look at myself and say, “yeah, I’m fat”.  For years, I would just call myself “overweight” but not acknowledge that I was fat.  I would yo-yo diet and quite often be “average” for my peer group.  Other times, I was much heavier.  It was easier to make excuses with phrases like “a little overweight” or “could lose a few pounds”.  And that’s exactly why I yo-yo’d.  Over this past weekend I received a 2005 picture of myself from my brother.  I was disgusted with my past self when I saw it.  I saw that mediocre guy who used to tell himself lies.

I would not admit those two words, “I’m fat”.

Not doing anything about it was a path to least resistance, which is how our brains are designed.  Our brains have a lying mechanism to make things easier on ourselves or to feel better about our situations.  Before I could really get motivated to lose weight, I had to fully understand why it was there and be brutally honest.  In my case, I was freaking lazy.

I didn’t play many sports growing up.  My childhood “sports career” was nothing but a few seasons of soccer and pee-wee baseball.  My folks didn’t watch sports so I wasn’t very motivated to play them.  I was a computer geek in my youth. 

My weight really began to pile on in my 20s, as it does with many others.  I wasn’t living at my parents any longer, so I was responsible for my own food.  Life turned into what was most convenient:  eating out and quick fix meals at home.  I would go weeks at a time without eating fruits or vegetables while inhaling ridiculous amounts of sugar, carbs and processed foods.

Sure, I’d diet occasionally for months at a time and drop the weight.  I’d eat healthy for a season…and then I’d get satisfied with dropping 30 pounds only to gain 40.  Life was about avoiding toil and enjoying food that was not good for me at all.  I had only a few friends who regularly worked out and made healthy food choices, but most of my friends did not.  I became comfortable within that circle.

I could find every excuse in the world to avoid a healthy lifestyle.  In fact, I saw those who were healthy as “those people”.  They were the minority in my view and not normal whatsoever.  Since I wasn’t the fattest guy compared to some, I accepted this level of mediocrity by not being honest with myself.  That lack of honesty prevented me from ever wanting it bad enough.

When you decide that you are satisfied being fat, you are doing a disservice to yourself.  You are allowing yourself to not live up to your potential.  What’s your excuse?  Too busy?  Too tired?  Too old?  It’s too expensive?  I can’t do it.  Sure, I used some of those and many others.  A night of drinking beer and eating hot wings with the guys was much more fun than hitting the gym.  I rarely made time to prepare chicken breast and fresh veggies but I could fit in a dessert or fast food.  Those temporary moments of pleasure created from consuming a big bowl of ice cream gave me short term happiness.  These moments are very temporary, but did not make me feel better in the long term.  My weight bounced between 187-237 throughout my late 20s and early 30s.  I accepted this mediocre life.

Body Positivity has become the slogan for being happy in the body you are currently in.  People who speak about “fat” or obesity get accused of body shaming.  I’m not calling you fat nor do I condone insulting others for their weight, but fat is fat and unhealthy is unhealthy.  Society is getting soft and telling us to lie to ourselves.  According to the CDC, 31% of Americans are “overweight” and 39.8% are obese.  It is a lot easier to accept these lies of Body Positivity and cheap self-esteem boosters when only 29% of American adults are healthy.  We’re being lied to.  Don’t accept it.  The true answer is to love yourself, love your body, and love so fiercely that you have to change the habits that are killing you, because you love yourself enough.

My waist size was 31 when I graduated from high school.  Then it became 32… then 34… I began trying to make myself feel better with lines of “I’m not fat, I’m average” and “I’ll go on a diet before I wear 36s”.  Not long after, I was wearing 36s…. and then 38s…  I was fat, yet I was on a diet at least 1/3 of the time.  “Fat people have a waist size of 40’s or above” was the next line of reassurance to myself.  I joined the “40 club” one morning when every pair of 38s in the closet fit too tightly.  With my head hung low, I purchased the cheapest 40s I could buy at Kohls to get me by for a few weeks. I had to admit I was fat.  I had a daughter about to be born and I was tired of the lazy, mediocre life.  I knew that dieting doesn’t work.  I knew fitness needed to be a lifestyle choice instead of a seasonal activity.  I was disgusted with myself, yet brutally honest.  It was time to quit being fat, permanently.  I quickly discarded those 40-inch pants and have worked my way down to a 29-inch waist. 

If you want it bad enough, you make the time to eat right and work out.  It’s the simple.  If you don’t want it bad enough, you’ll make a lame excuse for a cheat day.  You’ll have excuses to avoid the gym.  Busy week, not feeling 100%, the weather or whatever the lazy part of your brain tells you to justify not achieving your potential.  I used all those too.  Not anymore.

I didn’t take any short cuts when I eventually lost the weight.  No fad diets, weight loss pills or surgeries.  You see to really lose the weight and keep it off, I would need to work harder than I ever have before.  No cheat days, no excuses.  It eventually fell off through hard work and discipline.

Guess what?  It’s not too inconvenient to eat healthy when you make it a priority.  It’s not too expensive to eat healthy either.  The up-front cost at the grocery store may be higher, but I am saving thousands of dollars a year that used to be dedicated to eating out.  I prepare extra food to take to work.  I rarely go out for lunch and when I do, it’s generally for a salad or grilled chicken breast from the deli.  Preparing my own food on a regular basis also helped me discover a love for cooking.  Whether I’m playing backyard chef or making a mess in the kitchen, I find joy in creating new recipes and learning to cook different meals.  The quality of the food that I prepare tastes better than convenience food so I rarely throw away food like I did in the past.  I try to consume everything that is purchased.  It’s really not that expensive when you re-prioritize.  It isn’t that expensive when you think about co-pays for blood pressure medication or any other lifestyle induced ailment.  It’s not that expensive when you think about your quality of life in your older years.  We’re literally talking about preventing diseases here by getting healthy.  Living a healthy lifestyle doesn’t prevent the possibly of a disease or short lifespan, but living a healthy lifestyle exponentially increases the possibility of a longer, healthier life.

I would love to tell you that losing 92 pounds was one of the hardest things I’ve ever done.  It wasn’t.  Keeping it off is a challenge, but it is not that hard.  I made lifestyle changes that have become permanent, almost 9 years after I started.  The hardest part was being honest with myself until I wanted it so bad that I was never going to give up.  As soon as I lost weight, I replaced my entire wardrobe and got rid of the fat clothes.  Keeping your fat clothes is a weak “just in case” excuse to allow yourself to let bad habits creep back into your life.

If you’re overweight, I’d love for you to experience the joy I experienced by losing it.  I’d love for you to discover the love of having a healthy and active lifestyle.  I’m much more confident now and a lot happier with myself.  Achieving the weight loss through hard work also helped me find drive in other areas of my life that I was not reaching my full potential. 

You’re never too fat to start.  You’re never too old or lacking in free time.  If you’re reading this, you likely discovered it over social media.  If you have time for TV or social media, you have time to fit in a 30 minute workout and prepare healthy meals.

Take a look in the mirror and ask yourself, “am I really happy?”, “how did I get fat?”, “do I want it bad enough or will I continue to let excuses get in the way?”.  Maybe you need to ask additional questions like, “was the fast food last night really worth it?” or “why do I eat like garbage for temporary moments of satisfaction?”.  Be brutally honest with yourself and eliminate excuses.  Love yourself and your body enough to be honest that being obese is not “Positive”.  Being healthy and making better life choices however, is the most “Body Positive” thing you can do!

Go get it.